Aj writes
3 min readDec 13, 2021

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A million to one.
AUGUST 8, 2020

The one thing that disqualifies and cancels out the million memorable, meaningful and unreplaceable moments.

It could be in family, friends, workplace, ralationships, any and all valuable aspects of life.

Deal breakers. What is it for you? I’m here for all of them.

Let’s talk relationships for a second. Where you draw the line for your partner. The one (or more) thing(s) that is a no go. If you or your partner cross that line, there’s no turning back. Finances, children, ambition, responsibilities. Most common being disloyalty and unfaithfulness.

To some, it carries so much weight it’s almost impossible to recover from. You pack your bags, forget everything, all promises, future plots and call it quits, regardless of the amount of time spent together.

Then there’s the aspect of second chances. Is it really a deal breaker when this option comes to play? It’s possible, I think. Second chances don’t just happen overnight.

Often, it involves wet pillows, sleepless nights, soul searching, counseling and lots of meditation. It’s both mentally and physically exhausting .It has to be hardest part. So many things have to be considered. Sometimes not just for you, but also for the people in your life. Then comes the realization that the million good things still have immense weight over the one unpleasant thing, no matter how hurtful. And you have to make the choice, stay or leave for good.

Second chances can be dangerous or can be the single best decisions one can make. The con being that, at that moment, there really isn’t any way to know for sure which it is. It’s almost similar to taking a business risk. Which is why it makes it so hard for me to categorize second chances.

There are things even when forgiven are so hard to be forgotten. No matter how hard we push them back or try to move past them, they still remain as facts. It takes the strongest to give second chances. You have to live with the decision you made, the consequences if any, possibilities, and the slow and painful process of rebuilding lost trust.

There are things I regret having done, ignored or brushed off, allowed and least tolerated in my past, but they have contributed mightily to the lessons learnt and to most of what I am and know now.

People change. It’s inevitable. Yet it’s immature to think you can change a person. You cannot. Accept that as the first step to anything. People change on their own merit and independence, and to be honest, some don’t. It’s who they are. What you see is what you get.

But this, actions do speak better than words! It’s naive to keep giving chances and keep wishing and hoping that some magical button somewhere will be pressed in the future and a transformation will happen, if a person’s actions don’t show NOW. They have to be deserving.

Ultimately, the end game is what brings you most peace. Personally it has always been the most important part of my life. Be able to live with whatever you choose to do with your own life and be happy with and about it. Not forgetting refraining from judging others for their own decisions and choices they make about THEIR lives.

The purpose of life is to be happy.

(PS: Opinions expressed are my own.)

Love and light, aj♡.

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Aj writes

Nothing in life is constant but change and dealing with change is central to one's growth. Heraclitus noted that “everything changes and nothing stands still.”